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Work Rules - K

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Kagan's Theorem of the Hidden Agenda.
There is always more going on than you think. Corollary: And it's always worse than you imagine.

Kahn's Laws
(1) Vice presidents never call back. (2) Entrepreneurs always call back.

Karl's Laws of Bureaucratic Paper How.
(1) Every bureaucracy generates paperwork in a logarithmic fashion. A one-page directive will inevitably lead to a five-page guideline, a ten-page procedure and a twenty-five-page report. (2) Any attempt to clarify the information contained in a directive, guideline, or procedure will increase the amount of paperwork in each of the subsequent steps.

Kass's Plagiarism
Those who can—do. Those who cannot—teach. Those who can do neither—inspect.

Kelly's Law.
An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him.

Key to Status:
S = D.K. S is the status of a person in an organization, D is the number of doors he must open to perform his job, and K is the number of keys he carries. A higher number denotes a higher status. Examples: The janitor needs to open 20 doors and has 20 keys (S = 1), a secretary has to open two doors with one key (S = 2), but the president never has to carry any keys since there is always someone around to open doors for him (with K = 0 and a high D, his S reaches infinity).

Klein's Law of Utilitarian Discipline.
You always have to keep a few screwups in the organization. Otherwise, what would we use as a yardstick to judge our flawless performance?

Knight's Rules of Business.
(1) Do business only with people whose word you consider to be as good as their contract. (2) Then get it in writing anyway.

Koolman's Clerical Truth.
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

Kopcha's Commercial Reality.
Often the smartest thing to do is the most obvious thing to do; it is also often the hardest thing to sell.

Kramer's Rules.
(1) Monday is a depressing way to spend one-seventh of your life. (2) If you're at the top of the ladder, cover your ass; if you're at the bottom, cover your face. (3) Whatever is dreaded arrives promptly.

Kroeger's Law of Public Relations Account Management.
The client on the smallest budget is the one that requires the most attention and account service time.

Krakow's Observation on Public Life.
You haven't lived until some ten-year-old kid calls you a hemorrhoid.

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