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Thinking On Your Feet

A really tough-looking customer goes to the fruit and vegetable section of a supermarket and asks to buy half a lettuce.

"You can't buy half a lettuce. We only sell them whole."

"Is that right?" The customer tears a lettuce in half and takes it to the check-out. The cashier tells him he'll have to check the price with the manager. He walks over to the manager and says:

"There's a dumb-looking ape out here wants to buy just half a lettuce." Then he glances back and sees that his customer has followed him, and has heard every word. He quickly goes on, ". . . and this friendly customer has offered to buy the other half."

Several days later the manager tells the cashier:

"I like a man who can think on his feet. I believe you'd make a good store manager. I'm arranging for you to attend a training course in Winnipeg, Canada."

"Winnipeg? The only people who come from Winnipeg are either whores or hockey players."

"Is that so? You might be interested to know that my wife comes from Winnipeg."

"Really? What position did she play?"

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