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Mistaken Identity

A salesman was making an overnight journey in the slowest, most miserable train he had ever seen. He had reserved a sleeping berth, but was not at all encouraged when he inspected it. There was a tiny compartment off the corridor, with few amenities, and the two berths were one above the other.

When the train moved off, there was no sign of any traveller to occupy the other berth, so, when he was ready to turn in, he settled himself in the upper berth to avoid having someone climb past him during the night.

He slept fitfully. Whenever the train stopped he would be awakened by the lights and shouting on the platform. Only when they moved off would he doze off until the next station.

It was after one such stop, at about midnight, that the rep was abruptly awakened by a loud bang as the sliding door of his compartment was flung open. This was followed by two heavy thumps as two suitcases were hurled in.

The salesman was ready to express his opinion of this lack of consideration when he saw from his vantage point that his travelling companion was a good-looking blonde.

He moved back almost out of sight and, with one eye peering over the edge of the bunk, he watched the young woman first unpack a few things, and then proceed to disrobe.

When she had divested herself of nearly all her garments, and the salesman was beginning to really enjoy the show, he was rather taken aback to see her remove a blonde wig and toss it on the shelf. She was as bald as an egg.

Next came a full set of false teeth which she soaked in a glass. Then she took out a glass eye which was carefully placed in a velvet-lined box.

By the time she had removed a pair of false breasts, and unhitched an artificial leg, the rep was flabbergasted.

At this point she caught sight of him, his eyes bugging over the top bunk.

"What the bloody hell do you want?" she demanded.

"You know what I want. Unscrew it and hand it up."

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