Bible for Office Workers
In the beginning, God's alarm clock went off at 7:00 a.m. God got out of bed, said, "I hate Mondays!" Then he created the heavens and the earth.
God said, "Let there be light!" and there was light, and God saw that it was good. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And that was Tuesday.
And God said, "Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let dry land appear," and it was so. And because he had some time before quitting time and he had to look busy, God added some grass and trees and stuff. That was Wednesday, and God was glad to be past Hump day.
On Thursday, God was already thinking about what he was going to do that weekend, so he didn't get much done, just some lights in the heavens to rule the seasons, and a few stars.
And God said, "Thank Me it's Friday!" He created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind. And God saw that it was 3:30 so he said, "That's good enough," and he was out of there.
On Saturday God had to do some work he brought home from the office, so he threw together some beasts of the earth, and cattle, and everything that creepeth upon the earth, and as an afterthought created a creature in his own image and put him in charge of the other things, so God would be on time to his scheduled tennis game.
Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.
And on the seventh day, God wanted to rest but there was a lot of yard work to do, and and then a football game to watch, so the weekend was blown and the next day it would back to the same old grind.
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